Science of huh?!? : Steamboy

You know, some movies just aren't meant to be understood. Yeah there's a concept sometimes, but it usually gets buried under piles of oohs and aahs of special effects, or so dense that it seems to be really smart and esoteric, but in the end is just a head scratcher. Steamboy certainly qualifies as a head scratcher, and an enjoyable one. Let me explain. The centerpiece is science, that science will lift civilization (in the movie it is around mid 19th century) out of its sludgey working class pathos and bring them wonder and what one assumes is clean living. But hey, who pays the bills on this project is a quirky research fund headed by the granddaughter's daughter named Scarlett, who is a pain in the ass adolescent who beats her poor dog one to many times to be likeable, and that's all I have to say about her. On the other end is another science firm headed by Robert Stevenson, who presumably is backed by the British government and the royalty. What both want is a little metal ball that packs an insanely high concentration of steam, enough to power London, if London was wired in any which sort of way. It was invented by this eccentric old man, who with his son, was involved in an accident in Alaska as they were perfecting this power source. Somehow, both survive and take opposite sides -- the old man now wants to prevent anyone from obtaining this metal ball, and he sends it to Manchester to the custody of his grandson (in his teens, also a science whiz) with orders not to give it to anyone till he arrives. The father sees this as evidence that science can triumph over all, yadda yadda yadda, and is sort of power hungry. That's right, sort of. Don't really know how hungry, except he has an ego trip to feed and something has to pay the bills to feed it! So after a pretty damn exciting beginning, in which there are a lot of booms, crashes and bangs, and a locomotive chase, the boy ends up in the father's castle which is also cleverly disguised as a science building in the London Exhibition!!!! Are you following any of this? It gets better -- after a lot of yadda yadda talk to the son about how science "makes people happy" (I kid you not), and the grandfather (who is held prisoner in the place somehow) yadda yadda yaddading about power corrupts and mix that with science and military funding you have a recipe for modern warfare, we have one hell of a battle between Scotland Yard, with the Royal Guard and the navy, versus the "evil" father and a kick ass army of "steamtroopers," air watchamacallits and Snidely Whiplash. I know some friends who would appreciate an alternate history where there was a Battle of the Great London Exposition, but damn, this is getting ridiculous! I don't remember the ending of the movie too much, because the drugs were kicking in -- either that or I could have sworn that the science building became a big steam metal floating city, complete with carousels, ferris wheels and fireworks, growing legs and steaming half of London and destroying the rest. How the hell did I miss this in my history books? It ends with the boy rescuing the girl, who after this experience becomes a founder of Greenpeace and is hopefully nicer to her dog! Both pa and grandpa bite the big steam shovel and hopefully we have learned a lesson here, though I have no idea what it is. Science is fun? I give this a thumbs up and some aspirin.

Kung Fu for the 21st Century: Kung Fu Hustle

Just saw this last night. This is Stephen Chow's latest, and while he made a splash in the States with Shaolin Soccer, this surpasses it both visually and in story. I'll even go so far as to day that it is his best movie, a masterpiece of action that can stand tall with other classics of the genre, like Drunken Master 1 & 2, Fist of Legend, Enter the Dragon. Chow combines his visual sense of humor, love of Bruce Lee and old style kung fu movies, wich modern technology that owes to movies like Crouching Tiger and the Matrix, and manages to poke jabs at both, and surpass them as a movie. He seems to have fully embraced CGI, and uses it not so much for gosh wow look what I can do stuff, but to enhance the story. Visually this is like Crouching Tiger, except instead of sublime beauty we get Pig Sty Alley, a forgotten corner of Hong Kong (I assume) where the people are so poor even the gangsters don't go there, because they can exort any money. It's run by a couple -- actually, the wife, in rollers and nightgown, keeping the locals in line through verbal put downs and such. We see people doing their daily routine, which is basically surviving. One day an incident happens where the local mob -- the Axe Gang -- is drawn to the Alley, and we discover that some of the locals aren't what they seem to be. Stephen Chow is the main character, but really the landlord couple are the center of the movie, with their own hidden past. Back to the CGI -- it's downright Warner Brothers cartoonish, with the landlady chasing after Chow by foot -- except that both are going 1000 mph, legs spinning like circles. The fight scenes are awesome -- when the Axe Gang resort to recruiting the Butcher, the baddest of all the martial artists, his kicks and punches literally rip buildings apart. And when they connect, damn if someone's head goes through the floor. And underground! Buddah's Palm technique has never been shown like this! And watch out for the Lion's Roar -- more like the sonic attack that the 70's prog band Hawkwind always warned us about. The characters are well realized, the plot never strays too far from the main thrust of the story -- the defense of the Alley from the gangsters -- and the action is as good as it ever gets! I saw this as on import dvd, and it will be playing in the US in theaters soon. I say run -- don't walk to see this fun movie!

Heroes of the East

Here's another good Shaw Brothers action flick -- Heroes of the East. It's also known as Shaolin Challenges Ninja. This is another fine remastering job by Celestial Pictures, and it is 100 minutes of non stop kung fu greatness, released in 1978. The movie is divided neatly in two -- the first half of the movie is about the marriage between a Chinese scholar (Gordon Liu, sporting a not too friendly rug on his head), and a Japanese woman, played by Yuka Mizumo. She happens to be a judo and karate student, and to the consternation of the family servants, the grunts and groans aren't the passions of the newlyweds, it's the wife tearing the place apart while practicing! You have the ususal China vs Japan rivalry happening as the husband and wife demonstrate their home grown skills on each other, but Liu always wins (probably a nod to the home town crowd in Hong Kong). Frustrated, the wife splits for home in Japan. Liu, with a servants help, schemes to get her back, by issuing a challenge to her, daring her to come back and fight, and if he loses in any of the skills, he'll concede defeat. And this is where the second half of the movie starts. The wife shows the letter to an old lover, who happens to be a ninja expert, and he shows it to his fellow buddies at a martial arts school -- naturally, they are all pissed, and take up the challenge. So, it is non stop action as one by one they test their skills against Liu's. This makes for one hell of an entertaining movie, as the action is fast and furious, never boring. My only complaint -- minor, I guess -- is that the plot set up -- the relationship between the husband and wife -- fades away as you wonder which guy is going to kick Liu's ass all over the stage set. There is some sort of reconciliation, I guess because the wife suddenly dresses in Chinese garb as opposed to her kimono. Whatever. You ain't seen nothing until you see tri pole vs nunchucks! Recommended.

King Boxer a.k.a. Five Fingers of Death

I remember my misspent Saturdays as a kid in the late 70's and early 80's, where I would watch an inordinate amount of time gazing at the boob tube, starting at 6 am, run through my schedule of required cartoons, then breaking for lunch, and finally switching to channel 20 for the early afternoon kung fu theater. I can only remember the ones I did see by watching the dvd reissues of classics like Five Fingers of Death -- images triggering long forgotten memories. Of course, a lot of the charm was that they were dubbed, sometimes badly, but I am surprised in some cases how faithful the dubbing was to the original language -- I guess it depended on the distributer. Anyways, this Shaw Brothers classic came out around '70 or '71, and because of its strong story and innovative on-camera kung fu action, it became a breakthrough film that reached an international audience, paving the way for movies like Enter the Dragon. It also made a star out of Lo Lieh, the hero in this film, who is the lone survivor of a massacre of a school, and sets out for revenge. Along the way he endures the hardships and training that all action star greats must go through -- nothing as exciting as 36 Chambers of Shao Lin, but cool nevertheless. And the famous Iron Palm technique, which came complete with a soundtrack, which sounded like a funky car alarm. Quentin Tarratino used it in Kill Bill, but not to great effect. There is a tournament, and our hero has to win not only for the honor of his new school, but to also win his girl's hand for marriage. And of course there are the usual baddies who try to do everything possible to thwart him from doing so.

I bought the Celestial Pictures' recent remastering of this -- they have bought the rights to the Shaw Bros films, and have been doing an excellent job of restoring this great movie catalog. They are Region 3, however, so you have to have an all region dvd player to see it. Also, they are not dubbed, which may piss off some hard core viewers. I have to say, I don't mind subtitles at all -- yeah, so I read while I watch, but I find it amazing that there are so many people who will not watch a movie because it has subtitles. WTF???? Anyone who has the Five Fingers of Death dvd will have the dubbed version, but picture wise, this is superior. Plus, there are extras, such as background info, filmographies, and trailers. Highly recommended!

Movie review: The Mansion of Madness

This Mondo Macabro dvd reissues one of the best and most misunderstood movies of the 70's. The director, Juan Lopez Moctezuma, worked with the cult director Jadarowsky (El Topo, Santa Sangre) in the 60's and 70's on a number of strange, non linear, but beautiful films that have to be viewed as performance pieces rather than stories. MM has previously reissued another Moctezuma film, Alucarda, which is a wild, LOUD horror film that combines nunsploitation and demon possession, which always makes for a potent cocktail of a flick. That one came out around 1975; this one was made around 1970 and issued a year later -- it is better known in the US as Dr. Tarr's Torture Dungeon. That title alone gives an indication as to why it was so ill received -- it was sent directly to the drive in circuit, and the people who went to see it, expecting gore and sex, must have walked away, confused. It's a story about a reporter who goes to an insane asylum to do a story, but little does he know that the inmates are running the asylum. Apparently it is loosely based on Edgar Allan Poe's "System of Dr. Tarr and Professor Feather." Very loosely! The movie is very theatrical; more about the spirit of the times, of performance art and theater, where anything goes, and visually, this movie is exciting -- Felliniesque, even. From the guards dressing in 18th century military uniforms, to the director of the asylum's daughter dressed in a Mara Hari uniform, performing in front of a psychedelic band in surreal makeup, to the asylum itself, with the vast room of glass cases with inmates (or the employees?) inside them, and the guest quarters made out of fabric and rope -- all brilliantly used and photographed, to give a real sense of absurdity. The three dancers dressed in black, covered in feathers, and menacing our hero at the end of the film is very memorable! The dvd reissue makes an apology for the quality of the remastering, however, the film is very sharp and detailed, and the color is vivid. Only 2/3 ito the movie is there a shift in language; they must have used the spanish dubbed version (this film was filmed in english), and subtitles appear. It is 85 minutes long, and the story is simple and to the point, unlike a lot of movies nowadays that clock at 2 hours. It's not really a horror film, yes there are some disturbing moments, but not outright gore, and some nudity. It's like watching a Theater of the Absurd, where everything is downright strange, and we see everything thru the reporter's eyes. Probably the find of the year for reissues, just when you think you've seen it all. I loved it!