Pretty but Stupid - Martial Angels

Really, what was I expecting? I must have been suckered in by the fact that two award winning actresses (Shu Qi and Sandra Ng) are featured, never mind the fact that the title itself is an indication that it is a rip off of Charlie's Angels. The only thing in common are the pretty faces and some decent over the top action. But the plot is mean and stupid all the way. Shu Qi plays Cat, a burglar who along with 6 female teammates devise a plan to rob a safe in a millionaire's home. What they don't know is that Zi-Yang (Julien Cheung) has come to do some thieving as well. A commotion is caused as distraction while the two fight, then work together to find the safe, which turns out to be in the swimming pool. Underwater, they open the safe, and Julien makes a move on Cat, who instantly falls for him, and they have a relationship that is thankfully off camera. Several years later, Cat is alone and working for a corporate company, having split from him and her past -- she has now gone straight. But a group of Russians have captured Julien, and discovering their relationship, force Cat to do their bidding or Julien will be eliminated. Cat calls back the old gang -- led by Monkey (Sandra Ng), and Octopus (Kelly Lin). Their mission is to infiltrate a client of Cat's company where there are valuable documents stored on disc in a highly secure room. Two of the gang, Goldfish and Spider, go to a prison where Bone (Terence Yin), a highly disturbed and oversexed criminal, is an expert on explosives, and the ladies seek his advice. Bone is turned on by Spider, and masturbates while they are interviewing him. Disgusted, they leave. Meanwhile, Fred (Wong Jing), who holds the key to opening the room, becomes their other target, and their attempts to get his fingerprints fail. They resort to very sleazy tactics -- having him rub oil on Peacock (Rosemary Vandebrouck), which he refuses, and finally Monkey resorts to drastic action. She dresses provocatively and meets him at a bar, where she tries to seduce him. He resists all attempts, and finally Monkey grabs his hand and rubs it all over her to get the marks. Cat and the others bust Bone out of jail, and take him with them to open the safe. They succeed, but a key feature is that one of them has to keep their hands on the light pole that serves as the door opener, or it will shut and they will be trapped. Cat and Peacock go inside, leaving Spider with Bone, who proceeds to rape her as Spider is keeping the door open. They get the goods, and leave. Bone is abused but somehow gets away with his deed, but Spider tries to kill him and herself by attempting to drive off a cliff. She is stopped by her friends, who were tailing her. Cat brings the goods to the Russians, and gets Julien back in exchange, but it turns out that Octopus and Julien have a relationship going on, and double cross Cat. Lots of explostions, the Russians die, Bone dies, and Julien is shot in the back by Octopus, as he declares his love to Cat again.

This atrocity is a waste of everyone's time, and really, the one to blame is Wong Jing for producing this. The man is responsible for producing some of the better known Hong Kong films from the 80's on up; he knows the business and how to keep the cash flow going. Unfortunately, it means he will also produce softcore erotica and mainstream dreck like this. Shu Qi and Sandra Ng have done much better performances elsewhere, and at least they try to stay away from the fracas that is going on around them. Theresa Mak, another noted star from the Infernal Affairs series, has been in and out of mainstream, having done a few of Wong Jing produced softcore as punishment for something. The others are not recognizable from other films, and that is a good thing. The story is stupid and the scene with Spider getting raped is irresponsible. There is no point to it. Avoid this at all costs, even if you are a Shu Qi junkie.